Because I'm worth it!

So, I’m not sure if it’s since we’ve been ‘cutting back’ or if it’s just his age but my 5 year old has become very consumer conscious. When we watch ‘milkshake’ on a Sunday morning he has started saying,

‘I want that – but I think it’s too expensive!’

‘I want that, but maybe for my birthday because it’s too expensive!’

Of course I’m trying to bring him up without any sexism he knows some girls like blue for example and some boys like pink and that boys and girls can like the same toys and that everyone is an individual –all well and good except he used to say ‘that’s a girl’s toy!’  when he saw a littlest pet shop or jewellery making advert – now he says, ‘I want that! It’s for girls and boys! But I think it’s too expensive!!!’

We visited my mum, his Grandma last week and she gave him and his little brother £10 pocket money. She did it because she had given my niece and nephew the same and believes in absolute equality between children and grandchildren.  

Growing up this meant when my brother and I had to share things like a Friday treat of a can of coke or a mars bar, one would split it and one would choose – this was usually a loose-loose situation – my brother would pour tiny splash after tiny splash into two cups till there was no visible sign of difference the process could take long enough for the desired coke to go flat then I would swoop in triumphant and insist the one I had chosen had more in it!  Or I would measure re-measure cut off slithers of the mars bar till there were two plates containing exactly the same amount of chocolate.......and then with flamboyant swish my brother would declare plate one superior and tease, tease, tease how much he was enjoying the lion’s share! The treat always lost its shine through these shenanigans!

The one year old thought this bag of coins was great fun, rather tasty in fact! The five year old couldn’t understand that if I forgot to bring out his bag of money I could lend him my money and pay it back.  He couldn’t understand change and thought he’d won when he gave a shop assistant one coin and got three in return!

One thing he chose to buy with his pocket money was a Ben 10 magazine – not you understand for the magazine but the mask, plastic phone and disc flyer as well as the dvd attached. As you might imagine we have been working on adverts and how they entice you, exaggerate and infiltrate your brain! The dvd was an advert for playmobile – ‘It’s not an advert!’ he insisted preferring to believe it was a lovely little present from Ben 10 himself!

Stubborn is not the word for my beautiful boy – to prove the dvd was not an advert but an enjoyable programme he watched it over and over again and just for good luck he watched it in French, Greek and Spanish too!

And guess what?

He’s asking for playmobile for Christmas!

hurrah, hurrah it's a holi-holi-day!

Rain, Rain Go Away!!!

So the family has just got back from our holiday in the Lake district.....due to financial restrictions this year, you know, mainly my partner being made redundant and us just living on my poor public sector wage – don’t believe the hype of golden handshake, pension or inflation related pay – we have been staying at my Aunties house in the beautiful and picturesque village of Hawkeshead .

It was totally grim.

It did not stop drizzling for more than an hour. There is only so much fun you can have in waterproof trousers.  

I spent a large part of the holiday under the heavy stress of ensuring no children (or partner argh!!!)  walked over the white carpet with muddy wellies on, reminding children (but more often partner ARGH!) to use a coaster on the highly polished coffee table and ensuring there were no nappy spillages – (the baby did poo in the bath – leading to the eldest leaping out quick smart but fortunately was easily cleaned!)

How people manage house swap holidays I do not know, I can only assume they have better behaved children, (PARTNER ARGH!!!!) than me and they go to sunny places where they can throw kids (and partner!) into the garden.

My partner muttered,’ Happy f-ing holiday’ under his breath at one point during a conversation involving me either reminding him again to keep the bedroom door shut so the incontinent old cat did not find her way to the eldest’s blow up bed, my pyjamas or the toddlers favourite teddy or asking him to clean up after himself in one way or another plate in dishwasher, flush the chain,  sweet wrapper in bin, beer bottle in recycle tub etc.

‘Hmmm’ began my tirade – highlights of which include, ‘This is supposed to be my holiday too.... I’m only asking you to look after yourself.... show some respect..... this is not our home....... you are the children’s role model’ he did appear to try a little harder after that....... even making the bed after his lie in one morning!

The whole thing literally caused me a pain in the neck and I felt the tension through neck, shoulder, back, leaning forward, chin in completely the wrong position daily.

 Aching thighs from the hill walking but aching neck from the tension of keeping someone else’s house clean.

When today we finally made it home to Manchester through the continuing stormy weather, I felt a shift in tension and sheer relief to be back in my own much loved but slightly shabby home.

I sprung upstairs and danced to Dolly Parton’s favourites  ‘Here you come again and here I go’ ‘The day my mother socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.’ and  ‘Pour myself a cup of ambition’ as I made the beds up with lovely clean but slightly creased sheets, and apologised to my partner for the (maybe) over eager policing of his behaviour he asked me a question...

’Yes I am ‘on’ as it happens but what has that got to do with it??!!!!’  was my reply.

500 Words a Week on Being Mum: Rain rain go away.....

500 Words a Week on Being Mum: Rain rain go away.....: "Rain, rain, rain and we’re all claustrophobically crammed together in the house on a Sunday afternoon suffering from cabin fever! My other..."

500 Words a Week on Being Mum: Rain rain go away.....

500 Words a Week on Being Mum: Rain rain go away.....: "Rain, rain, rain and we’re all claustrophobically crammed together in the house on a Sunday afternoon suffering from cabin fever! My other..."

Rain rain go away.....

Rain, rain, rain and we’re all claustrophobically crammed together in the house on a Sunday afternoon suffering from cabin fever!  My other half has sloped off for a sleep, as he was on ‘crack of dawn’ duty with son number 2 who is a fully paid up member of the wide awake club from 6 o’clock every morning.....

If I could summon up any energy I’d take them out but it means a car journey really and my car is holed up in the body shop after I lost a fight with a metal fenced corner of a car park.

My good friend and nursery teacher says,

‘There’s no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing!’

.....as she trails her little class around the school yard doing exciting and interesting things through hurricaines and storms – she’s much less ‘jolly hockey sticks’ than I’ve made her sound but she does believe in fresh air and wellies for all kids!

It’s not that I mind rain per say – I mean I do live in Manchester, but it’s August and Sunday and I want to relax and drift to the park maybe pop to the shops not wrap up in kagools and race to where I’m going with water creeping up my trousers. Is that osmosis? It’s incredible how far rainwater creeps up from the ground to your knees unless you are fortunate enough to suit cropped pants!

Still it’s good for the grass and at least we rarely have hose pipe bans in these parts....

So far this morning we’ve had  arts and crafts, construction and a puppet show i.e. a make shift television was drawn on the washing machine packaging and the eldest bobbed a toy meercat around while the baby crawled in and out clutching a lunar toy and giving his world famous winning smile!

The eldest is trying to get to grips with two forms of entertainment at the moment – magic and comedy. The magic consists of,

‘Look at this box, there’s nothing in it (noises emit from the box clearly indicating that it is crammed full of toy cars) absolutely nothing, nothing at all in this box!’

‘Now say the magic words.........’

The magic however is much more bearable than the jokes the meercat in the puppet show told one of the best.

‘Can kangeroo’s talk?’

Answer: ‘Kangeroo’s talk!!!’

This one was usual in that all his other jokes regardless of what they might be end in ‘to get to the other side!!!’

Language is not his strong point!

Physical comedy is more his thing, he can make me laugh with a head wiggle or eyebrow lift or deliberate fall on the floor – I think he gets humour so hopefully this will develop and we won’t be sat at his 21^st cringing through a speech full of ‘to get to the other side!’ punchlines!

Every time I think it’s easing up another down pour appears! What is a mum suppose to do?

I think all but the most perfect mum knows the answer to that.

T.V.

Lovely, calming, smiley, friendly T.V.

Phew!