Wiggly Woo!

Wiggly Woo!

My family had their second dose of Ovex today...it’s belt and braces stuff, we are no longer infected but just in case we crunch and swallow the tiny orange tablet (except for the toddler who has it mashed added to juice and squirted in his mouth from a calpol syringe.)

If you are unfamiliar with Ovex, I guess you don’t have a disgusting five year old in the house, one who likes to pick up manky sticks and mouldy conkers. One who scarcely washes his hands before meals. One who picks up sweets from the floor and asks if it’s ok to eat.  One who let’s face it picks his nose and eats his crows.......

It started over two weeks ago when the five year old complained about an itchy bottom; we suspected worms after all one of his friends had recently had it. My curiosity got the better of me, and treating it like a nauseating science project I got him to poo in a potty in order to examine it Gillian McKeith style.

It was fascinating!

What a marvel of mother  nature, tiny little white thread worms wriggly and now at the end of their life, their final lurch to lay teeny eggs in microscopic itchy liquid around the back passage. So itchy, you’d have to scratch and in the words of the school nurse,

 ‘You scratch your bum; you suck your thumb....worms!’

My five year old, however, is a very good boy (well usually) and when I tell him he must not scratch the itchy bottom, he will not do it..... very good you might think except the drama and hullabaloo of a five year old with an incredibly itchy bottom is very stressful to be around there were times when I wished he’d spare us all the wiggly, cringey, pained dance and just give it a little scratch and shut up! He didn’t and the commotion continued! Good boy!

He was so painful to be around evening and early morning, my partner took him to the doctors who prescribed an anti-histamine for the itching... sensitive boy!

We informed hi teacher at school who didn’t even blink, so common place.

We did the hot wash of sheets, towels underpants and so on and used kitchen roll for hand washing and imagined miniscule eggs lurking all over the house.

We now have a rigorous hand washing routine in place and are keeping an eye on the toddler for signs of itching...... so far his interest beneath the nappy is front not back as he has recently discovered his penis and so furtive little tugs throughout the day!

The joys of motherhood!

Kung Hei Fat Choi

My five year old came buzzing home from school today, bag full of Chinese money envelopes, lanterns, dragons and blossom tree card, head full of animals racing and mouth full of chatter, chatter, chatter!

He was desperate to clean the house. Yes, clean the house, hurrah for school eh?

So armed with a broom,

‘To sweep away the bad luck Mummy!’

And a sponge and spray and of course the obligatory two year old (there is nothing he can do or say without a little follower) he set to work. The work seemed to involve a lot of spray, a lot of water and a lot of throwing things in the air!!

Keen to let this new passion for cleaning continue as anyone who has ever visited my house would appreciate! I turned my back for a minute and chaos! The little one completely caught up in the exhilaration, babbling away mop in hand had caused quite the puddle in the kitchen. I managed to get the sponges and water off them and tried to replace with very absorbent kitchen towel and walked behind them.....

But the excitement didn’t stop there, we were commanded by the five year old to decorate the house in red

 ‘to scare away the evil spirits Mummy!’

so we painted a giant red dragon on some old packaging paper and pinned up the lanterns...... I had to draw the line at painting the front door red which he was quite insistent to the point of near tantrum about and was not too impressed by my, ‘Well the bricks are red honey that should scare them any way!’

My partner was thrilled they were interested in something he knew a little something about and got out all his eBay paraphernalia, ancient coins, tea cups and other special things.....

They were allowed to look, begrudgingly touch but definitely take to school for show and tell!

But he did promise to take them to the celebrations in the city centre at the weekend.

‘I bet we do get the prize, Mummy!’ the five year old giggled!

‘Prize?’  I said, ‘There isn’t a prize’

Hoping a team of teaching staff from the local primary weren’t actually going to turn up to run a white-gloved finger along my tatty skirting boards!

‘There is Mummy!’ he said in a voice dripping with, ‘Oh how silly you are Mummy!’

‘Are you sure, sweetheart?’

‘Oh yes!’ he assured me, ’a big trophy with a dragon on it, the emperor will give it to us’

‘The Emperor of China?’  I asked

‘Yes, Mummy!’ in a voice that implied who else?

Well I guess it was only last month I told him Father Christmas came to our home, ate a mince pie drunk a glass of wine and gave Rudolph a couple of bites of a carrot. Why wouldn’t the Emperor of China pop in with a trophy in recognition of his hard work?!

Kung Hei Fat Choy!!