Next Door Neighbour!

Well, the five year old came home singing, ‘Rudolph the next door neighbour’ – he can’t read and when they learn songs in singing assembly in the hall with the overhead projector scrolling the words, he just has to make a best guess!

His class teacher met with the educational psychologist today to put a plan together to try to help him without actually giving him any more resources. Not sure what they came up with.... but I wait with baited breath to find out.

I tried to correct him but actually I like his version now, it’s going to be our traditional family carol from now on. Beware the Rankine-Elson’s knocking on your door and bursting into song!

He is playing a reindeer , along with the rest of his class in the nativity in a couple of weeks time, I know this because he has to take in brown trousers and a brown top in a plastic bag clearly labelled with his name before next week.

He doesn’t have brown trousers though and annoyingly because even though I now have a blinging phone I don’t actually do anything but text and call on it and I was outbid by 20p on ebay for a pair rather smart monsoon age 5 / 6 brown trousers which would have doubled both as reindeer and smart pants for Christmas Eve party too! All this just after getting over the spotty day for Children in Need scrabble for spots in my size, the five year old and the two year old, fortunately my partner didn’t need a costume that day!

He proudly brought home his Christmas cards printed by the P.T.A. a fund raising enterprise but just the cutest thing ever especially the tiny tags, all with his hand print Christmas tree and felt tipped fairy, gallons of glitter tipped over the lot (he is his mother’s son when it comes to glitter!)

The two year old desperate to do whatever the big one does has a pair of duck scissors that quack when he cuts, it’s cute but a little surreal....

Both of them heads down glue sticks blazing. Sequins scattered around the kitchen and foil flopping.... the sound of quacking!

Both smiling coyly holding aloft their art works, precious!

Irresistibly Optimistic

Between the mountains of homework the five year old has and the many chores of modern living (you know paying the gas bill, shopping, laundry and the like) and now going full time at work this time has been busy. We have of course managed to catch up with loads of friends and had my mum the infamous Grandma to stay. (My mum knows almost everything about modern living from how to save money on the cinema, where to buy this seasons animal prints and how to add a splash of colour to a dining room – in fact she knows everything about anything that has ever been shown on Lorraine, Loose Women or 60 minute make over! – (more impressive knowledge than you might think!)And she always brings lollipops!

With the two year old set free to toddler bed after an A and E trip caused by attempted sky dive escape from his cot, bed times have been a battle of wills. That said my boys are usually co-operative, it just takes the right way of asking – and the right way of asking is difficult when you’re tired, frustrated or in a rush – you know usual circumstances!

One Halloween I remember getting my first born to do all the things he usually wouldn’t by inserting the word ‘spooky’ (in a ghostly voice of course!) in every instruction.

‘Let’s clean your spooky teeth!’ ‘Shall we tidy your spooky toys away?’ ‘Eat your spooky peas!’ and so on – and it worked – it worked absolutely but I was in a good mood and was just in the right frame of mind to speak in a ghostly voice in fact once I’d got started I found it hard to stop! It is more enjoyable than you think – give it a go next year!

Over half term we visited Bridgewater Hall with some friends, we were a little too early for the performance and I said in best children’s T.V. presenter voice,

‘Shall we go upstairs and look out of the window?’

‘YES!’ said my five year old jumping in the air!

‘Erm.....’ said the other two polite kids, looking somewhat puzzled at what the big deal was about looking out of the window, but being nice well-mannered children they joined in.

Another friend visited once he wanted a Lunar Crawler he’d seen on telly.

‘Shall we make one?’ I said in best children’s T.V. presenter voice.

‘YES!’ said my five year old.

‘Erm,,,,’ said his little friend, knowing full well a few coke cans masking taped together with a painted yogurt pot on top was not what he wanted, but being a nice well mannered child he joined in – (he opted not to take the finished model home though!!)

Next week we have a meeting with the Educational Psychologist to find out if my beautiful, enthusiastic, loveable five year old is actually developmentally delayed or has a moderate or specific learning difficulty.........

I prefer to think of him as irresistibly optimistic, which is what I plan to be.