Atishoo, atishoo they all fall down.....

Atishoo, atishoo they all fall down……

When I got home tonight, through the sleet and slippery roads, I was greeted with the news from my mother – in – law (almost anyway, I’m not actually married to my man) that the baby had a ‘weeping’ ear. Clear discharge had been squelching out of it throughout the day……must say not a total surprise and answered a few questions really like -  Why has he been crying through the night? Why has he been so grumpy? Why has he been banging the side of his heard whilst making blood curdling baby dinosaur noises? Ah-ha Miss Marple so maybe it’s not his teeth / the cold/ growth spurt hunger or all of the above…..

We’d taken his ear rubbing as a sign of tiredness – not the sign of agonising pain it might be…. Hey ho! Am I still in the running for this year’s bad mummy award?

But, you see, although my first thought was concern for the weefella my second was,’ Will I have to take any time off work?’ – You see it’s only last week I was at the doctors with him for – now let’s just call it an eye infection…..

I took an hour off work to go to the doctors and was forced to ask that mummy divider question,

‘ Erm, (slight cough) is he O.K. to go into nursery?’ my voice tailed off into the void…..

I fortunately have a lovely doctor who does not make me feel bad about asking this question and even sympathises, ‘Well’ she says ‘There’s no official ruling to say he can’t go in with conjunctivitis’ – yes, my friend the shame, he had that highly contagious eye nasty and here I was trying to shove him into nursery to spread it round the other pure little babies – ‘It’s really up to individual nursery policy’

So eye drops in hand – (I surprised him with the first set of one every two hours, so surprised was he that a treat to follow suggested by the pharmacist went unswallowed.) I sheepishly made my way to the kindergarten….

Armed with the knowledge that the doctor did not think it bad enough to be off nursery, (What? That’s not the way you heard it?) Yet conscious that the nursery may indeed have its own policy on it I dropped him off and chatted to his key worker using a number of words to describe what was clearly conjunctivitis.

‘gunk eye’, ’snot’ ,’mucus’,  ‘stickiness’, ‘mild infection’ and my own personal favourite, ‘ cold in the eye’

‘And what are the drops called?’ she asked as she filled in the medicine form for me to sign………..

‘Conjuncticure’ I Said…….Busted!

If you are lucky enough to stay at home with your children or work for an understanding boss or have a job that you can do at home in your own time you will not understand me, if you’re not get thinking of less serious ways to say ‘discharge from left ear’ for me please!!