moronic organic me.....

Frazzled and thirsty my kids and I fall into the local health food shop on our way home, the kids are complaining of hunger and no they can’t wait the ten more minutes it would take to walk home and I don’t have the strength to spend that ten minutes listening to the whines and anyway I forgot to get tomatoes and mushrooms earlier, so here we are.....

For once the kids aren’t begging for chocolate or crisps, (they can’t read and maybe they don’t recognise the organic good stuff or they just know that parsnip and beetroot crisps are not really crisps, come on!)

‘Are the apples washed?’ I asked, seeing a sink maybe two steps behind her behind the counter.....

‘They are organic!’ the woman sneered.

‘So?!’ I thought,

 ‘So is influenza, salmonella and e-coli but I don’t fancy it on the apples I feed to my most precious boys!’

I didn’t say this of course being strangely and most annoyingly intimidated by the posh woman who had whole food on her side, this woman had never taken her kids to McDonalds for a fish finger happy meal or fed them monster munch to keep them quiet at the cinema or given them spaghetti transformers on toast when she felt too tired to cook or fed them haribo (and I don’t just mean the vegetarian ones from Holland and Barrett, I mean the full on made from crushed up pig bone type!) and so I felt she must be somehow my superior!

She made no visible attempt to leave her ladder stool tucked behind the counter in order to walk the required two steps to the sink to rinse the apples for the kids to eat and so I, like the weak spirited, feeble minded mug that I am, bought them any way and fed the potential germ bombs to my gorgeous lads.....

We walked home, them refreshed, me somewhat fuming at myself. How hard would it have been to insist she rinse the apples? I’m sometimes inexplicably thrown back to a gawky, awkward child instead of the real grown up I know I must be! I have kids, a mortgage and wrinkles round my eyes!

They lived to see another day immune systems bolstered by years of eating raisins squashed into carpets!