Where's me ...........?

Over dinner my partner uttered the cryptic words,

‘Have you seen J-N......’

I looked blankly at him but before I could question him further he nodded sagely and clarified, in a sort of whisper a la Les Dawson.

‘From the s-h-o-e-s’

(I recently said ‘He’s a bit of a d-i-c-k-‘ to my sister in law about someone and my niece and nephew both mouthed, ’dick’ to each other with giggly cheeky faces then ‘AWWW! Aunty Donna!’ so not sure how long we can communicate like this before being sussed!)

Doh! I thought the five year old had a friend over yesterday after school and they both removed the Jack Nano and spaceship toys from the heel of their shoes – curse you Clarks!

(It’s the latest thing in a long line of marketing ploys to sugar up the return to school for infants – at least I don’t have any girls I’m sure you have to re-mortgage these days for Lellie Kellies! And that’s if you can keep down the vomit from watching their telly advert.)

Seeing his friend with exactly the same pair of shoes and remembering a friends story last year which involved a mammoth shoe swap in year 4 resulting in many children with odd shoes – including one poor boy left with two right feet, I decided to iron on (sew on please? How much time do you have on your hands?!) name tags in his shoes.

Unfortunately I realised I had only one tag left..... left or right then which one is he most likely to loose?!

In the end I think I made the sensible choice.... I snipped it in half, first name in the left and surname in the right!

You see the thing is, despite constant reminders and nagging and hair pulling, and the broken record of ‘if you put it where it belongs you will always find it!’ the five year old (oh yes and the 44 year old!) expect me to know where they have dropped things, (and in a kind of super mum way I usually do!) But even I haven’t been able to spot two tiny toys that fit in size twelve and a half ‘g’s!

Recently at a nursery open day, the nearly two year olds key worker said that his class were not very good at jigsaw puzzles.

‘Really?’ I said before nervously owning up to almost never letting them out of the box at home without extremely strict supervision because it drives me mad when they loose the pieces!!!

Bad Mummy again!

Still, now kids in bed, rug hovered, cushions back on the sofa (why my kids think my soft furnishings are gymnastic equipment I do not know!’), washing up done and candles lit I slowly rest my weary bottom in the chair when.....

‘Ouch!’

Jack bloomin’ Nano!

Found him!