So cool, I'm out in the Cold

Since reaching 40 (if not before) I am no longer particularly bothered about what people think of me. The feeling of embarrassment felt in front of people you don’t care about or will never see again has been christened, ‘Reading Festival Syndrome’ in my circle of friends...... after my very good friend who literally wanted the ground to swallow her up because we got a taxi from Reading station to the festival – we had crates of beer and there was no way we could carry enough to drink- I waved at all the other crusties as we drove past, she covered her face with her bowling ball bag.

My ten year old nephew who is reaching the peak of self consciousness was in the bath this week when the phone went,

‘If it’s for me’ he quickly and nervously shouted, ‘Say I’m in the shower!’

Apparently baths are for babies and old ladies – making me, in the words of Marge Simpson , ‘So square I’m cool!’

A shower says dynamic, zingy and modern! Who wouldn’t want that! Of course when I was his age a shower in our house meant attaching a rubber tube to the bath taps and hold the spluttering spout, water dribbling from the tap / rubber tube  connection over your head.

The shower I have now in my grown up life is I’m afraid not much better, as any of my poor friends who have had the pleasure of a night chez Rankine will confirm.  It is situated over the bath and dribbles out of an over large head that doesn’t quite balance – if you touch it, breathe near it or look at it funny it collapses into the bath spraying water all over the tiny bathroom.

I digress, tonight my next door neighbour called around to ask for £5 for the neighbourhood planting day on Saturday – the what?!

I had noticed that around the tree lined road I live on, people had planted bulbs, flowers and fancy grasses, ‘How lovely!’ I thought.

Apparently they’ve been getting together for about three years , twice a year to do this, followed by a party in Brenda and Gordon’s house / garden. Who? Oh yes. Brenda and Gordon who live opposite whose windows look into our windows...... and who have never spoken to me!

Not sure If my next door neighbour knocked by mistake or if I’ve finally been deemed ‘in’ she said something about me probably being away last time they did, which is doubtful and sounded a little like back tracking...........

I can’t be the neighbour they all hate, I put my bins away, park well enough and don’t block drives, I’m not too noisy though the kids do often cry in the night and I never have loud, late parties.......

I even send Christmas cards......

Maybe I’m on the list this year!