Night Off

After a busy week at work, serious irritability brought on by him indoors, sinus infection and conjunctivitis the last thing I felt like doing on Saturday night was going out.

So six o’clock and my hair in rollers and the little one constantly wanting to be lifted, ‘duddle, duddle duddle!’ he takes his baby brush and bashes me on the head in his attempt to help me look beautiful! I manage to shove them in the bath before I start my make up.... fortunate as a two year old applying my mascara and lipstick would definitely give me away as batty old woman (a look I live in fear of - coloured tights? Funky addition or crazy old hag?) and not young thing on the town!

The boys are constantly fighting and teasing each other, snatching toys, chasing, screaming the usual chaos.

I get dressed - knickers big enough to hide an army (should it be necessary!) some concern that the dress just looks tight but my friend assures me it’s bootylicious – (that’s what friends are for!) so we knock back a homemade cocktail...

Just as we leave my partner tries to read The Hungry Caterpillar to the little one with the five year old downstairs, I hear an argument about him being left alone (they can’t go to bed at the same time, the laws of physics don’t allow it...)

“But the t.v. is NOT A PERSON!!!!”

I hear the five year old scream authoritively up the stairs!!!
I close the door and run as fast as my painful high heels will let me (a short stop at Morrison’s for a pair of party feet and I’m off!)
We drink and chat and discuss how smelly bars have got now there’s no smoke to hide the human stench. We talk about impending holiday romance. We laugh. The worries of the week disappear...

When we get into town we refuse to feel old... but we are wise, we quickly secure a sofa to view the world with and even when we want to dance we manage a strange burlesque like wiggle that incorporates the sofa we know we’d be crazy to give up this spot and the youngsters that try and muscle in by sitting on the arm or shuffling chairs near it are just too inexperienced to battle with the likes of us and slope off to snog in less comfy corners!

I get a text to say the two year old has fallen out of bed twice and the five year got sleepily lost on the way to the bathroom and peed on the landing.

I text back, hope all ok now and get another round in!

We spend a good half hour taking special effects photos of ourselves and find it hilarious when we have blue teeth or red faces or angular noses, it doesn’t knock our confidence we feel good.

When we get home we have a nice cup of tea and toasted pancakes.

When I wake up in the morning full make up still in place, hair grips in and jewellery on a little hung over but nothing a diet coke, omelette and two paracetamol can’t fix I feel alive and I feel like the old me again not just the mum me again.