Caravan open mike night

At work today, I had to shut the blinds, open windows and blink away the sunshine, all the while cursing the British weather which left me a week and a half ago in a wet caravan in Whitley Bay and now stripping off my cardigan and contemplating open toes  at work.  Why is it always sunny when the kids go back to school and is there a way to trick it?

I shouldn’t complain about the caravan and Whitley Bay is a great family holiday but can’t help feeling just the tinsiest bit miffed about the weather and of course the inevitable state the weather will return to in four weeks times when the kids break up for the summer.

My boys were so excited about staying in a caravan, so excited that the, ‘Are we there yet’s?’ started at Stretford... making it a long drive to the north east. The two year old finally falling asleep as we tunnelled under the Tyne leaving him grumpy as a goblin as we arrived.

On arrival, my partner pleasantly surprised at the flushing toilet his own childhood holidays having less mod cons, collapsed on the ‘L’ shaped fitted sofa (that disappointingly didn’t turn into a double bed with a winch of the dining table!).... leaving me to unpack.

I marvelled at the use of space! Opened tiny cupboard after tiny cupboard, narrow wardrobe after narrow wardrobe and handy little shelf after handy little shelf. I laid out the toothbrushes, the dirty washing bag, the noodles and tin of beans and revelled in the role of (holiday) home-maker.

‘Put that in the bin, honey’ I would say.

 ‘Do you mean the MINI bin Mummy?’ the five year old responds.

‘Time for bed, honey’ I would say.

‘Do you mean time for MINI bed Mummy?’ the five year old responds.

‘Fancy a shower?’ I would say.

‘Do you mean a MINI shower?’ the five year old responds.

You would think that would get boring wouldn’t you?

Not for me!

I am the woman who spends Halloween putting the word SPOOKY (with a quivering voice) before even the most mundane noun... ‘I’m going to eat my SPOOKY special K, and watch the SPOOKY Wright Stuff then clean my SPOOKY teeth’ do I need to go on?

I am the woman who spent the week before rainy Whitley Bay giving my work colleague a daily countdown to her holiday in South Wales.... ‘Oneby today, mate!’ ‘ Twoby today mate’, ‘Threeby today mate! ‘All the way to ‘Tenby tomorrow mate!’ she stopped even pretending it was ironically dad jokeish by Fourby but I just couldn’t stop myself ....

I am the woman who along with her deranged flat mates spent almost a week saying, ‘I cannae hear yea’ in a mock Scottish accent to anyone who refused to speak in a mock Scottish accent back.

Yes, I am a firm believer of the mirth accumulator!

Anyway, the holiday was fine. The two year old even ended up with sun burn (bad Mummy) during a rock pooling day we spent wellied and kagouled up! And cream scones can be eaten any weather can’t they?

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