Hospital Again

Yesterday I rushed out of work after my partner called to say his symptoms had got worse and the G.P. said he needed to go to hospital immediately. I had mixed feelings as always, the same feelings that won when the five year was sent to hospital after a fall in the playground three weeks ago and I finished the school day before joining him only to realise later he had fractured his skull in three places and probably could have done with his Mummy earlier... We certainly get our money’s worth out of the NHS... I’m thinking of applying for a season ticket in the car park and expecting the woman on Reception to say, ‘Ooh new hair cut D! Still at number 40?’ as I offer assistance to new-comers showing them the way to x-ray, phlebotomy and the canteen... I am suitably shamed thinking about the people who are really at hospital daily and the unbelievable pain that must come from having a sick child. Anyway off I drove after organising with the Head Teacher who would take over my day and cancelling my after school ‘Street Dance’ Club – (as I’m sure you can imagine I don’t do a particularly good job of that one anyway! – over ambitious volunteering from this 41 year old who realised all the ‘cool’ music she had at home was older than the kids! For me dancing will always stay as it was in 2001! – You see Kylie I really ‘Can’t get you out of my head!’) All the journey I’m thinking, if he’s in hospital next week I can ask my Dad to..., drop early?, speak to in laws..., leave work at..., ask a parent at the school to.... wishing I could work from home and imagining my year 5’s rocking up to mine in a school bus on Monday afternoon to make Greek Pots in my kitchen ... It is only now when I write this I realise it’s the distraction my mind needs to stop the ‘what if’s... My partner lives with a chronic incurable condition which means the whole family does, lots of families do and when he feels depressed about it and moans about wanting to be ‘normal’ and how he would be able to do this or that if he could get to 100% instead of living his life at 60% on a good day I remind him of that and that of course there are a lot of people a lot worse off than we are. He doesn’t thank me for it! The doctor at the hospital disagreed with our G.P. and decided to send him home and see if symptoms got worse. They have. This morning he can’t walk and we wait to see what will happen next... We are well supported with lots of lovely friends and family. Last night some Thai sweet potato, coconut milk and chilli soup and freshly squeezed juice thanks to one lovely friend and I believe a fish pie may be on its way from another! Life can be tough but we are lucky...